Imbrium Writes A Whose Line Fic
by Vaporium Iridum
Summary: I wrote this for my brother, Vaporium, so it's posted for him. Yes, we've all read the Whose Line Fics, but this one brings together all of RK's Washed Up Evil People. Wheeee.
1. Evil characters

(ANOTHER) WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY FIC: RUROUNI KENSHIN STYLE!!  
  
(Written by Imbri, ideas by Vaporium, and general support by Crisium)  
  
*  
  
Imbrium: G'night, folks, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway---the show where the contestants are screwed and the points aren't worth Kaoru's sword style!  
  
Kaoru: I don't like you.  
  
Imbrium: Right back at you, sweetheart. Now then, I am Imbrium Iridum, the host of this prestigious show. Joined with me are my brother, Vaporium, and my sister, Crisium. *They wave from backstage*  
  
Saitou: Introduce us. Now.  
  
Imbrium: *sweat drops* Ohhhhhkaaaay. Today's edition of Who's Line is the Evil Nemesis of the Past Show! Basically, we take the washed-up rejects of evil and make them do funny things for our morbid amusement! Wheeeeeee!  
  
Crisium: HELLO! I AM THE ANNOUNCER! I AM HERE TO ANNOUNCE THINGS!  
  
Imbrium: Yup. That covers it quite nicely. Crisi, who are our illustrious contestants for today's show??  
  
Crisium: WELL, IMBRI, WE HAVE SEJUUROU HIKO, THE THIRTEENTH HUNKY DRUNK IN THE HITEN MITSURUGI RYUU LINE! *crowd cheers* SAITOU HAJIME, THE EVER- SMOKING SOLDIER OF AKU! *crowd boos....and then, thinks better of it at a very glaring Wolf.* SOUJIRO SETA, FONDLY KNOWN TO ALL OF US AS PROZAC BOY! *laughter, to which Soujiro's smile falters slightly, twitching at the corners* AND LAST, BUT MOST DEFINITELY NOT LEAST, HIMURA KENSHIN!! *silence. Crickets. Cicadas. More silence*  
  
Kenshin: *with a big chibi question mark* Why is sessha here? Sessha is not evil, de gozaru yo!  
  
Crisium: TELL THAT TO THE BATTOUSAI, HONEY.  
  
Kenshin: o__0?  
  
Imbrium: Anyway, let's go on to the show, ne? Our first game is Let's Make A Date! This is for all the contestants. Our lucky bachelor is Saitou---and the other three are the prospective dates. Each has been given a slip of paper with a socially-damning quirk.  
  
*A small, though completely undisguised screech comes from Kenshin as he reads his paper. The audience roars with laughter*  
  
Kenshin: Sessha cannot do this! Kaoru-dono would *GRAVELY* hurt sessha if he did this!  
  
Imbrium: *smirking* And?  
  
Soujiro: No backing out, Himura-san. Wait! Himura-san----NO RUNNING AWAY!  
  
*Vaporium Iridum, the handy security guard, "escorts" Kenshin back to his seat. Much yelling and cursing is included in this endeavor from both participants*  
  
Imbrium: *buzzes her snazzy buzzer thingie* Okay! Start the game!  
  
Saitou: Contestant #1. State your name, and how many men you have killed.  
  
Hiko: (Hiko had the fortune of drawing a slip that said: Drag Queen) My name is Aurora Crystallia, you sweet thing. *Audience gags, whilst Saitou twitches* And I haven't killed anything, except by my looks!  
  
Kenshin: Shishou-sama, you look as if you're enjoying this, in some twisted way.  
  
Hiko: *with a wink* Sure thing, sugar.  
  
Saitou: *trying desperately to keep his composure* Hn, that's...nice. And what about you, Contestant #2?  
  
Soujiro: (Soujiro, much to his own amusement, got a slip that said: Rabid Dog. He got to this act with a definite smirk) *foaming at the mouth* Grraaaaaaahhllllllmaaaaahhhhraaaaa!!!  
  
Saitou: Try that once more?  
  
Soujiro: *frothing with amazing gusto, running in circles on all fours, howling* ARRRRROOOUUUUUURRR!!!!  
  
Saitou: Someone call animal control. The Tenken has snapped. Contestant #3, what's your name?  
  
Kenshin: (You must have wondered why Kenshin rebelled so stoutly to this game. In truth, his devious little Slip of Doom had Stripper written on it. Poor Ken-san ^_^) H-hello.....sessha---er, m-my name is.....my name does not matter, in truth. *begins to undo gi, to uproarious applause and cheers* *Saitou's eyes bug. He lit another cigarette with twitching hands, turning away so that he did not have to see what was "going to happen"*  
  
Saitou: So, what do you do for a living?  
  
Kenshin: Currently, I am working on my hakama. The knot won't come undone. *slyly* Ya think you could help?  
  
*Soujiro takes one look at the now-shirtless Kenshin and promptly passes out in all his rabid dog glory. Hiko blows him a kiss*  
  
Imbrium: *buzzes desperately* STOP!! Guess who they are, Saitou-san!  
  
Saitou: *twitching* Three swordsmen, horridly twisted.  
  
Imbrium: Correct, but that's not the answer I was technically looking for.  
  
Saitou: Hiko is a....girly thing. Soujiro has something biting in his pants. And Battousai has finally gone through puberty.  
  
Imbrium: Once again, very correct, but I was looking for drag queen, rabid dog, and stripper. Twelve points for Hiko and Soujiro, and Kenshin can have as many points as he wants if he stops by my place after the show *winks*.  
  
Kenshin: *blushes to about the shade of his hair, quickly wriggling back into his gi*  
  
Crisium: AWWWWWW. I WANTED HIM TO LEAVE IT OFF!  
  
Imbrium: Next game---Super Heroes! First, we have a commercial break.  
  
Crisium: DO YOU FIND YOURSELF DISSAPOINTED IN COOKIES? DO YOU WANT A COOKIE WITH ROBUST FLAVOR, A SWEET TANG, AND ENOUGH SUGAR TO KILL A SMALL WHALE? THEN GET "ORO", THE MEJI'S FAVORITE SNACK COOKIE! WITH ITS CREAMY WHITE FILLING, CRUMBLY CHOCOLATE WAFER, AND SURPRISE RUROUNI IN THE BOX, "ORO" COOKIES WILL MAKE YOUR DAY! A SMILE GUARANTEED! AND NOW, BACK TO WHOSE LINE!!!  
  
Imbrium: Hey, audience, give me some ideas for Soujiro, our first superhero!  
  
(Prozac Boy! Captain Twitchy Mouth! Super Smiley! Tenken the Mighty!)  
  
Imbrium: Captain Twitchy Mouth...it has a nice ring to it, ne? So then, Mr. Mouth, your problem is----what's their problem, audience?  
  
(Prozac shortage! Cows are taking over the world! Oro is made illegal!)  
  
Imbrium: Cows, men! It is the cows! Start---Saitou, you're the next one in.  
  
*buzzer!*  
  
Soujiro: Oh no! Cows are taking over the world, that they are! So I shall call my super hero friends, using my twitching mouth power! *Twitches. Saitou saunters over*  
  
Saitou: I have arrived.  
  
Soujiro: Ah! You have come, finally, um---Super..Squinty Eyes Man!  
  
Saitou: *squints* And where are our comrades?  
  
*Kenshin appears, looking slightly apprehensive*  
  
Saitou: Finally, Scar-Faced-Transvestite-With-A-Bad-Taste-In-Kimonos-Man. I had thought you'd never arrive with that stupid scrap-heap sword of yours.  
  
Kenshin: That is not fair, de gozaru yo!! You could have at least been a bit creative if you're going to insult sessha!  
  
Saitou: *smirks* All right, Femme Lacky.  
  
Kenshin: *eyes go slightly gold* Repeat that. Sessha dares you.  
  
Saitou: *dancing* Femme Lacky, Femme Lacky, Femme Lacky!!  
  
Soujiro: 0___0x Oh my.  
  
Kenshin: *sticks out tongue* Ffffffppppthhhh!  
  
Saitou: *rolls eyes* You're quite childish, Femme Lacky.  
  
*Hiko enters. Kenshin tugs at his sleeve, looking tearful*  
  
Kenshin: Shishou-sama, Saitou's being mean to sessha! Saitou is making fun of sessha's pretty hair and voice and---  
  
Saitou: You forgot the gi. I was mocking your gi, as well.  
  
Hiko: You have dishonored the highest (and only) student of Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu. I'm afraid I'll have to kill you, now.  
  
Saitou: Bring it, old man.  
  
*Brawl ensues*  
  
Soujiro: But what about the cows?  
  
Imbrium: *buzzes* Ten points to---hey! Break it up, guys!  
  
*Brawl continues on*  
  
Imbrium: Vaporium, get 'em. I think we'll have to end the episode here.  
  
Crisium: TUNE IN NEXT TIME, TO SEE SAITOU AND HIKO KILL THE SECURITY SQUAD, AND TO HEAR MORE SEMI-KENSHIN-BASHING!  
  
Kenshin: Sessha hates you.  
  
END CHAPTER 1  
  
Imbrium: this is what happens when Imbri is bored and her brother asks her to write a Whose Line fic. I know it's been done---numerous times---but I still get a kick out of the overused humor. It's just me, but that's OK. Review, minna-san!  
  
~The Iridum Family  
  
(Imbrium, Vaporium, and Crisium) 


	2. Random characters

( ANOTHER) WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY FIC: RUROUNI KENSHIN STYLE!!  
  
(Written by Vaporium, ideas by Vaporium and Imbri, and general support by Crisium)  
  
*  
  
Authors note: okay sorry folks, I couldn't get hold of my stepsister Imbrium and that is why I'm writing this. So don't blame her if it sucks and don't blame me I am not that far into my writing career, my first story sucked so I took it off but I'm hoping to do better. Imbrium will be back for future episodes but she lives like 5 hours away from me and in another state so she wont be coming a lot but we might work something out so she might write more. Anyway sorry again and don't hurt me for the peeps down below. I'll quit the talking here is the show. *  
  
Vaporium: G'night, peeps and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway--- the show where the contestants are screwed and the points aren't worth Saitou's marriage. *quickly signals new security personnel (since he's the announcer now) in case Saitou decides to show up* Sorry for Imbrium not being here but she had to go fight Karou in a steel cage match for dissin her sword style, but anyway lets get on with the show. Crisium why don't you introduce the contestants.  
  
Crisium: HELLO, IAM HERE TO ANNOUNCE THINGS AGAIN!  
  
Vaporium: Now introduce the contestants.  
  
Crisium: THIS EPISODE IS OUR RANDOM CHARACTERS EPISODE, AND OUR CONTESTANTS ARE KAMITARI, THE FREAKIN COOL CROSS DRESSING FIGHTER! *Loud cheering from scattered people* ANJI, THE MONK, WHO CAN BREAK ROCKS! *louder applause and even some whistling* YAHIKO, THE CUTE LITTLE MUNCHKIN! * Loud laughter and clapping*  
  
Yahiko: Hey I am not a Munchkin! * heads toward Crisium who holds him away by sticking a finger on his forehead until security get there*  
  
Crisium: OKAY OUR LAST AND LEAST CONTESTANT IS MISAO, THE BITCH WHO.....  
  
Vaporium: Ahem.  
  
Crisium: FINE. MISAO, THE LEADER OF THE ONIWABANSHU! *applause and some laughter* STAY AWAY FOM AOSHI-SAMA!!!!!!  
  
Vaporium: Ohhhhhhhkay our first game is weird newscasters. *huge applause*  
  
Vaporium: Now Yahiko your the anchor of the news station, and Misao your the co-anchor. You are a drunken fighter pilot who only needs one more kill and will become an ace in World War Two. Anji your doing sports. You are Osama Bin Laden in New York being chased by the NYPD. Kamitari your the weather---ahhh man? and you are a skydiver who forgot his parachute. Lets start the game.  
  
*news music starts*  
  
Yahiko: Hello for the 19 o'clock news that's right we're on military time. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *clears throat* Okay my name is Youbetta Watchyourback and our top story is Viagra containers may be made of human parts and not above the belt parts. *Laughter and applause while some people look apprehensive* Time to turn it over to my co-anchor Highasa Fluffycloud.  
  
Misao: yesh how do you do Youbetta. *makes actions like she's flying a plane* oh ya I'm gonna be an ashe (ace). But really that rumor about viagra ishn't true because the police planted shecret camerash and it looked normal. Back to you Youbetta.  
  
Yahiko: Good, now to you Hows Youdoin.  
  
Anji: Thank you, now I must start my exercise because I want to be as fit as the Raiders who beat the Buccaneers 42-0 today. *looks behind and sees NYPD officers running at him* I must get going. *has two audience members chase him* Back to you Youbetta.  
  
Yahiko: thank you Hows this just in, there are reports that they just found Osama Bin Laden. The NYPD has reported he is running away in the Bronx. *huge laughter* Now to the weather with Window Fanman. Window.  
  
Kamitari: yes I am here, it looks like its gonna rain aloooooooooooooooooot. *jumps out of plane as he says alot* weeeeeeere gooooing toooooooo geeeeeeeet soooooooome suuuuuuunshiiiiine iiiiiiiiin theeeeeee souuuuuuuuuuuth buuuuuuuut thaaaaaaaaaats alllllllllll. *tries to open chute but finds he has none* Ohhhhhhhh nooooooooooooo I'mmmmmmmmm gonaaaaaaaaaa.... *hits ground*  
  
Yahiko: This just in, we are currently looking for a new weatherman.  
  
*Vaporium buzzes cool buzer*  
  
*big applause*  
  
Vaporium: Good 100 points for Misao for being drunk, 20 points to Anji for having the guts to be Osama Bin Laden, and 30 points to Kamitari for forgetting----ahhhh his parachute.  
  
Yahiko: what about me.  
  
Vaporium: oh, you get -50 points for being a little munchkin.  
  
Yahiko: I am not a munchkin. *looks mad*  
  
Vaporium: Whatever you say. *lights go out* What's happening.  
  
*everybody takes out flashlights that they so magically have*  
  
Vaporium: Fine I'll go check it out. Crisium keep the show going.  
  
Crisium: OKAY.  
  
*Vaporium goes backstage*  
  
Crisium: *now at desk* NOW LETS GET THE NEXT GAME GOING. IT IS SCENES FROM A HAT.  
  
*Audience cheers*  
  
*Crisium pulls out hat*  
  
Crisium: THE FIRST ONE IS, SWORD NAMES THAT WERE REJECTED.  
  
Yahiko: The WingWang.  
  
*laughter*  
  
Kamitari: The munchkin.  
  
*huge laughter and mad glares from Yahiko*  
  
Misao: The Aoshi.  
  
*laughter*  
  
Crisium: NEXT ONE. *glares at Misao* WHAT THE CONTESTANTS THINK WHEN THEIR ALONE.  
  
Yahiko: I wonder if people think I'm gay. (Kamitari)  
  
Anji: I wonder if Crisium will try to take away Aoshi today or tomorrow. (Misao)  
  
Kamitari: *looks mad* Boy am I short I must be the shortest and stupidest munchkin ever. (Yahiko)  
  
*lights turn back on and Vaporium runs out and presses buzzer*  
  
Vaporium: Okay that was our show and tune in next time.  
  
*  
  
Authors Note: Please don't hurt me for anything said. I will update more frequently.  
  
Crisium Note: HI, I'M SOOOOOO SORRY ABOUT THIS!!! I WAS WATCHING BUFFY SO I COULD NOT HELP! WELL I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS! I LUV AOSHI AND OTHER GUYS, VAPORIUM DOES NOT KNOW ALL OF THEM! BYE!!! ^_^  
  
Authors Note2: Sorry about my demented sister she's weird. 0_o; If you want her to do a chapter and I will let her. This is coauthored by me Vaporium Iridum and my sister Imbrium Iridum. Crisium is my other sister. Please R&R. C-ya. 


	3. Guys Night out

(ANOTHER) WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY FIC: RUROUNI KENSHIN STYLE!!  
  
(Written by Vaporium, Ideas by Vaporium, and general support by Vaporium)  
  
*  
  
Disclaimer: I forgot to do one earlier but I'll do one now. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its other characters. In fact the best thing that I own is either my X-Box or my T.V. and that wont even bring in a lot of money.  
  
*  
  
Authors Note: That's right I am doing this all by myself. So don't read if you get scared easily. BOO. Sorry. Don't get mad at me if it sucks I am not in a very good mood so I will be evil. Still haven't heard from Imbrium though I'll try to bug her into writing a chapter. Thanks for reviewing. Here's the show. And if you know where aoshi got his little white ribbon thingy that is on his butt I'm sorry.  
  
*  
  
Vaporium: G'night folks I am Vaporium and I'll be your host for tonight. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway the show where the contestants are screwed and the points aren't worth Aoshi's butt bow.  
  
Aoshi: *0_o,* I will not let you insult my butt bow. I mean my ribbon. Someone special gave me that.  
  
Vaporium: And I care why? Anyway Imbrium is having me trade off for her so if she cant come on the show I will. Don't think I'd do anything to her though. *0_0,* Now Crisium Introduce the guinea pigs.. I mean contestants.  
  
Crisium: TODAY IS OUR GUYS NIGHT OUT EPISODE.  
  
Kenshin: Sessha thinks this will be bad.  
  
Vaporium: your not on this show go away.  
  
*Kenshin leaves*  
  
Crisium: OUR CONTESTANTS ARE AOSHI SHINOMORI, THE REALLY HOT GUY. (Crisium likes Aoshi) *Crowd cheers* SAITOU HAJIME, THE EVER SMOKING SOLDIER OF AKU. * crowd who remembers last time cheers* SEJUUROU HIKO, THE THIRTEENTH HUNKY DRUNK OF THE HITEN MITSURUGI RYUU LINE. * Crowd cheers* AND SOUJIRO SETA, OR PROZAC BOY. *Crowd all points and laughs at soujiro who (always smiling) gets up and takes the botujitsu stance. Everyone falls silent*  
  
Vaporium: okay, now for our first game, and it is Hollywood Director. Soujiro you're the old lady waiting to cross the street. Saitou you're the boy scout that is going to help the old lady across the street. Aoshi you're the car that is speeding toward them as they go across the road, and Hiko you're the director. Lets start the game!  
  
*crowd cheers*  
  
Saitou: *looks angry and keeps throwing glares at Vaporium* May I help you across the road old hag.  
  
Soujiro: you should be more respectful young whippersnapper.  
  
Saitou: screw you I don't have to.  
  
Soujiro: (whispers to Saitou) Help me across the street.  
  
Saitou: *helps the old hag across the street* (bored) oh no a car is going to hit us.  
  
*Aoshi makes convincing car noises. Vaporium looks backstage and there's a car*  
  
Vaporium: please turn off the car or I'll have to kill you.  
  
*person in car drives of*  
  
Vaporium: Whew, that viper sure was loud.  
  
Hiko: what color was it?  
  
Vaporium: Silver with pink pokadots on the front.  
  
Hiko: *looks mad* That was my car!  
  
Vaporium: oh well get on with the show. Hey Hiko get back here. Security.  
  
*security gets there and puts hiko back in his seat*  
  
*Aoshi makes car noises and starts to drive downstage*  
  
Saitou: oh no it's still coming.  
  
*Aoshi goes downstage to hit them and both Soujiro and Saitou fall down and look like they're dead*  
  
Hiko: No, no, no, no, that isn't right. You need to be more. *pulls out slip of paper and reads it* ..Jamaican. That's right be more Jamaican mon. now go.  
  
Saitou: Hey old hag mon. You lookin to cross the road mon.  
  
Soujiro: Yas I am mon. But stop callin me an old hag or I'll beat you mon.  
  
Saitou: *looks scared* I will stop callin you a hag ol hag mon.  
  
Soujiro: Look theres no cars coming now mon.  
  
Saitou: *helps him (I mean her) across the street* oh no I think that car is not going to stop mon.  
  
*Aoshi hits them and they all die. Mon.*  
  
Hiko: no, no, no, no, that isn't correct if any Jamaicans saw that they would shoot us.  
  
Saitou: but you said to do it Jamaican.  
  
Hiko: You shut up and go get me coffee. Now were gonna do this as a war scene. *points at aoshi* You are a Panzer Tank. *points at Soujiro* You are an American grandma that was somehow shipped with some red cross supplies. *points over shoulder at saitou* (who is backstage getting coffee) He's a Canadian who doesn't know whats going on.  
  
Saitou: *arrives with coffee and gives it to Hiko. Then turns around to go back to his spot on the floor when he remembers he doesn't know what to do* Hiko, what are we doing this time.  
  
Hiko: *looks strained* We are doing a war scene. *points at aoshi* He's a Panzer Tank. *points at Soujiro* He's an american grandma who was accidentaly shipped with some red cross supplies and you're a canadien who doesn't know what's going on.  
  
Saitou: *looks gloomily at Vaporium*  
  
Vaporium: *stares blankly back*  
  
Saitou: *frowns*  
  
Audience: *looks at Vaporium (who is sleeping with his eyes open)*  
  
Random guy: *comes out of backstage and takes Vaporium backstage. Then comes back out* Okay, since Vaporiumis out and Crisium had to go we will finish this game and end the show. *guy goes to desk*  
  
Saitou: Hey old lady what are you doing in this war zone.  
  
Soujiro: I don't know. *starts crying*  
  
Aoshi: * acts like driving tank and runs them over*  
  
*  
  
Authors note: okay, sorry for not updating and having a short chapter. But the only time I have to work on it are the weekends. You don't care do you. None of you are reviewing. *starts to cry*  
  
Shoulder Devil: kill them all.  
  
Vaporium: but if I kill them I wont get reviews.  
  
Shoulder Devil: You can kill some.  
  
*rocket launcher appears*  
  
Vaporium: *picks up rocket launcher* that's right, you don't review and I kill. Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. 


End file.
